I only read as far as the “Kundalini Awakening” heading, but it is clear that you are detailing your mind’s descent into what I can only call “Madness”. Mental illness is too weak a term for the process of withdrawal from medications designed to keep you sane, replacing these anti-depressants with known psychotic drugs such as Marijuana. Your final question comes from the other side of sanity: “Who and what are we?”

If you don’t know, seek psychological help urgently. When you were sane you knew all of the above was pseudoscience, and that is the mental space you need to get back to.